The Paleo Way (to kill your child)

Please allow me to take you to a hypothetical place – we’re gonna do this matrix style.

You’re Neo. Morfirus is standing in front of you. He says you have to consume either the blue pill, or the red pill.

Now let’s say in the movie Morfius was a little more understanding of the life-changing decision Neo was about to make and gives you some time to think about your decision.

You find two places you can get some information about which pill to put in your body.

1) A group who has spent years on years studying the results on these particular pills on thousands of studies all over the world with solid results about the effects of each.

2) A guy who read online about pills, chose one for himself and it seems to have worked out so far. He also has beautiful eyes and can rock a suit in a way that would make Barney Stinson proud.

Which do you consult before you chose a pill?

Ok, I’m a sucker for a beautiful pair of eyes but you’d have to be crazy to take the advice from the personal-experience guy right?

This being the case, can somebody please explain to me why everybody seems to be taking all their dietary advice from shit for brains Pete Evans? The guy did a short online course about nutrition and now thinks he’s qualified to tell everyone to drop major food groups from their diets.

The first Australian Dietary Guideline is to eat a variety of foods.

Pete Evans has decided this will not do and is instead telling the world to completely cut out grains and dairy and eat ‘The Paleo Way‘ like our unevolved ancestors who only lived to 35 cavemen.

Because what would the National Health and Medical Research Council possibly know on the subject? They’re only a group of Australia’s top nutritionists with PHDs who have devoted their lives to getting the best evidence-based research to advise us on dietary needs.

Sorry, what was that Pete Evans? I think you’re trying to explain yourself but I can’t hear you over you scoffing your face on pasta, desserts and ice-cream on My Kitchen Rules (apparently, when the big bucks are involved Paelo no longer applies.)

Pete’s new book is about how to bring up BABIES on paelo and it includes an infant formula recipe.

Nutritionists, dietitians and medical professionals have come out saying this book could have terminal effects on babies who are vulnerable and require specific nutrition to grow. These medical professionals have seen the advanced, controlled, tested, sanitary environments infant formula is made in, and just don’t think a home recipe is a genius idea.

Even though Pete wasn’t listening, lucky his publishes were. And for this reason, they dropped him.

Oh poor, precious, pitiable Paleo Pete. He could no longer release his baby-killing book.

But low and beyhold! Proud, Predictable Penny-loving Pete has decided he doesn’t need them – he’ll just publish it all on his own as an e-book (he tried to publish the actual book but ended up settling on just a digital version).

Giving adults advice on dietary requirements pissed me off a little, but when you involve helpless and innocent human-beings, Pete… you go too far.

We’ve seen babies die from malnutrition when people have decided to take formula into their own hands before, but the Pelao king has dollar signs in his eyes and will not back down.

If you choose to eat a certain way, that’s your own decision. I’ve got vegan friends who are really healthy, have done good research and still eat a variety of foods. I just think it’s so dangerous that someone who is barely qualified is giving questionable advice to adults and dangerous advice about how they should feed their babies.

If you’re starting a new diet, please at least do some research and find out what qualified professionals think. And in the instance of babies, let’s just agree to go with what the mob at the National Health and Medical Research Council have to say. There’s too much at stake to play games when if comes to our most vulnerable.

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