Defeated and covered in soy sauce… why I’m furious at health food.

The other day I felt like a hot lunch. But, while my heart was down on its knees begging for hot chips or pasta, I instead went in search of dumplings.

I felt great about my decision though, and it was one of those days where I was in heels and a pencil skirt – lookin’ fancy and feeling good. Nose in the air I strutted to the place I’d researched to buy the right amount of dumplings I knew wouldn’t push me over my calorie limit. I sat confidently in the little Asian place and prepared to order 6 vegetarian dumplings, but was instead informed it was yum cha day.

In one of those awkward I’m-already-sitting-down-drinking-the-water-you-poured-me kind of ways I agreed to stick around for the yum cha. I ordered glass of hot water with leaves in it green tea and grabbed a plate with three chicken dumplings and a plate with two tastes of peking duck.

pecking duck
Peking duck
chicken dumplings

It was pretty meh. Although I waltzed into the place on my high horse, my head was starting to deflate and I was feeling pretty awkward about taking myself to lunch. The whole confident-independent-women thing I was going for fell apart as the newspaper I was reading kept getting dunked in my soy sauce as I tried to read it and eat with chopsticks at the same time on the tiny table.

Defeated and covered in soy sauce I went up to pay, to be told my leaf-water and five little serves I had, each the size of a thumb (albeit, a big thumb…. Like think of the person who’s got the biggest thumbs you know, it’s probably that big; so big for a thumb, but nevertheless a thumb… Unless you know someone with abnormally giant thumbs.  I’m not talking like, hulk thumbs – that would be more than the size I had. Just the person who has the biggest thumbs you can think of which would still qualify as reasonably normal sized thumbs) were going to cost me $20.60!!!!


So I was pretty pissed off. Went back to work and what a surprise; after my five the-biggest-thumbs-you-can-think-of-which-would-still-quality-as-reasonably-normal-sized-thumbs sized servings I was hungry again two hours later.

Although I was craving one of the amazing lemon and coconut cupcakes from the store below, I went to 7Eleven and purchased two “health” bars.

health bars

One was totally natural, just made up of wholesome fruit and the other boasted lower calories, although there was a lot of strange artificial ingredients in it I’ve never heard of. I bought both so I could test which I preferred and walked back to the office with my head once again held high, thinking about the amazing blog I was going to write on which was the better  healthy snack. The verdict?

Both tasted like arse.

Next time I’m buying a Big Mac and a cupcake.

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