I haven’t exactly shied away from the fact that I put on weight as a Wine Ambassador (dare you to try that job without doing the same!) I thought moving to Sydney would finally straighten me out, but nah, turns out I like wine too much.

I love refining my tasting skills, testing my ability to identify characters, and detecting subtle differences between regions… I also enjoy my flawless dance moves and significant improvements at the pool table.

Which puts me in a pickle. As we all know, it’s impossible to lose weight without giving up the booze… or is it?

Fellow Ex-Wine Ambassador Liepa had also put on some weight at when she started the job, but managed to get a banging figure while still doing the role. What is this sorcery I thought – so I decided to find out.

Turns out, the girl had done her research, and knew exactly how alcohol works with the body. She’s also one of those people who are super into health and fitness, so she understands the science behind all those health trends.

So one sunny day looking over Coogee beach I sat down with Liepa and begged her to tell me her secrets so I could lose my wine gut, without losing the wine.

Intermittent fasting     

Ok I thought this was an absolute load of shit when I first heard about this. But upon reading into it, some pretty credible sources seem to support it – or at the very least say it’s on-par with regular calorie restriction.

Basically, you need to go 16 hours each day without eating. On a regular day, I’ll aim to eat an early dinner, and not eat until 12pm each day, while also keeping an eye on calories – probably aiming to stick to 1,200 a day.

Liepa was so right in pointing out that it’s empowering to get comfortable with the feeling of being a bit peckish. I don’t need to be enslaved by the office cookie jar. Suck it Monte Carlos.

If I start feeling more comfortable with that rumble in my tummy, I might actually come home and wait till dinner is cooked instead of fishing through the fridge for snacks.

Wine nights     

Ok this is where the wine comes in. I seriously thought she’d say to spread wine out over the week, but funnily enough, she recommends choosing one night a week (or two if I really must) and have all my wine that night.

This is because even just a glass will hinder any other digestion. The digestive bits which were trying to turn that lunch into energy will be like ah shit, she’s drinking again, just store it all as fat while we call the liver for the fourth time this week and beg him to help us out.

So having it at the one time kinda means the body can deal with it all at once.

Also, she says to have an early dinner, and make it super nutritious, and then wait a couple of hours for the tummy to do its thing before showering it in chardonnay.

So it was all sounding pretty reasonable. I’m like – “ok I think I can follow this with wine. How many can I have?”

“About 3 is a nice number”

“Ok sweet I can do that.”

“Glasses, not bottles.”

“Ah.”

So yeah, unfortunately moderation is the condition. Boo. But fine. If it means I can finally wear those jeans I bought 2 sizes too small a year ago because I was like “na it’s totally fine I’ll be skinny soon” like a goddamn fool… then fine, I’m in.

Exercise  

Eugh, of course this is part of the deal. But yeah, I get it, I need to work if I’m not willing to sacrifice the shiraz.

Liepa recommends HIIT (high intensity internal training) for the most effective fat burning. I’m going to do this alternating with running because I signed up to do a run in October (I thought they said rum).

The celery rule 

I love this idea – a simple little thing Liepa recommended to keep me on track. Whenever I think I’m hungry, before I eat something, I must think to myself would I eat celery right now? If not, I’m probably just bored, or procrastinating, or emotional.

So that’s my challenge – or as I’ve decided to call it – the Wino Diet.

Obviously I’m going to blog my way through it because calling myself out in such an obnoxious fashion is really quite incentivising knowing it will be all the more humiliating if I fail.

The aim is to lose 10kgs before summer – 14 weeks. Wish me luck!

I must re-iterate, the Wino Diet has had no input by medical professionals, it’s merely a result of a hallway conversation between two winos, and a dream to Cabernet without the kilos.